Yes, it is rather late and close to tomorrow, but sleep is a thing that happens when there is nothing else to do or one becomes too tired to stay awake.
There are too many things to think about right now: So many ways to improve as a man, not enough time in a life to do it properly. Different and many little steps to take in making sure I get where I need to go for the next 12 months, which will lead me to where I should be for the next however-many-years I have in life, which will hopefully get me to the eternity I was created for.
That’s only a couple things, and plenty to occupy me for now. Does it not distract from the purpose of being in bed? Sure it does! And well it might, there’s little I can do about it unless you wish me to manually stop the process of thinking. That could be arranged but I’d not be fit for much after (not that it would be anything radically new).
In the recent months, peace of soul has been elusive. Changes, mistakes, consequences of the fallen state of my human nature; it’s been a lengthy class in Surviving and Recovering from Life – or just a taste of it really.
How does one cling on to some fragment of spiritual peace?
I say ‘Go to Mass’, and ‘Visit Christ often.’ In a world so focused on always the next thing, never a time to rest, the unchanging God waits for us. If so distracted, how does one even remember to try to do this?
Well, find a friend, and a good one. A friend that will remind you to get up and go to Mass; a friend who (somehow) tolerates your mild insanity, repeated mistakes and mindless flaws and helps you correct them.
The best of friendships are based on Virtue – if you have someone who has the will to be more like Christ, keep that person as a treasure from God – he or she will help you closer to Him if you so allow.
In a mysterious way, she could be a moral shield in those (seemingly random) moments of trial, a little light in the sanctuary who reminds you of the presence of God . . . more to come on that next time.